Being in the close proximity of a relationship is not easy, it takes work and undersatnding. But we are all different and some want to be more “joined at the hip” than others.
An only child, such as myself, is used to their own company and often happy in it. For others with siblings, they may be less intense, and not value privacy as much.
Needing space is not intended as a signal to push the other partner away. It may seem odd to the other partner, and let’s face it, it could be that they don’t want to be with you anymore, but if you have an open relationship and communicate with each other, and frankly if not then the relationship may well not last anyway, then you can usually tell that everything else is ok.
In other words, a good way to judge whether this request for more space is a message telling you it’s over, is to ask yourself if this is strange behaviour. If it is out of character, then you need to talk.
If this is normal behaviour it should have been evident from the start. It may just be that with modern day work pressure, you may have forgotten this part of your partner’s makeup, and it’s now worrying you. Think back to the early days of your relationship. Past behaviour should give some clues.
Having gone through all that, if you decide that this is a new form of behaviour, you may need to talk!
Now every relationship guide out there will tell you that when you split up you should abandon all communication with the other party. This is because your emotions are running high and you may end up saying the wrong thing and making things worse.
What they don’t tell you though, is that your partner wanting more space is not the same thing.
A partner wanting more space often has nothing to do with their partner. These types of people, and I am one, simply like to retreat from the stresses and strains of the world for a few minutes and contemplate their navel. I don’t know why. Why isn’t an issue. The fact is, I want to be with my wife, but i also want to sit quietly alone sometimes.
Communication is essential to any relationship.
When you stop spending quality communication time together, things can get harder. I say quality communication time, because quality time together is one thing, but it may not involve talking to each other.
To maintain mutual understanding, aim to have a date together once a week, in which there are no friends or TV, just the two of you, talking.
Once you start sharing your lives again, even if your partner wants more space, at least you will have a better understanding of why.
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