OK we have all experienced that fantastic date and the promise – “I’ll call” – that never happens. You may sit and try to figure what you did wrong, or did he really say he would call. Other things such as game playing, tricks, and various four letter words to describe him float through your mind. Many times this several day wait will turn into frustration and then rejection – your rejection of him, and his of you. All this when nothing has even happened.
Realistically, you must realize there are many reason why men don’t call. With some men it is a “knee-jerk” reaction to say they will call after a date, especially the first date. No one wants to be unkind if they feel their date partner is not someone for them. Would you tell the man don’t bother calling because you will never go out with them again? Unless the date was a total disaster this would be a bit extreme. If you have been seeing the man for a while the answers could also be varied. Work related, personal or family problems, or even sickness. Most times this non-calling is not an intentional plan.
Today, some men may not have the social skills that you may consider normal.
While they may have valid reasons for not calling after saying they will, they are unaware of the misunderstandings and misconceptions that can develop by not doing so. A simple nudge from a common friend may be enough to get a brief call to explain the situation that he may be uncomfortable explaining, and thereby relieving you of hurt feelings and several days of second guessing of what, if anything, you may have done wrong.
Although we all profess to not want to game play; until you become secure in any relationship it is automatic. A man may intentionally not call after saying he will to determine your reaction. With this knowledge on his side he can determine his importance in your life.
Men are sensitive creatures and use all their powers to defend their feelings until they have a complete sense of security. These tests are fine at the beginning of a relationship but if they persist it becomes unacceptable behavior and should be treated as such.
As such, in these cases, it is always advisable to show such men that you have an independent life of your own and such small incidents, as his missing phone call does not actually pester you.
It is preferable that you do not show your restlessness to him by calling him again and again but this should not be taken to such an impersonal level that the man feels dejected leading to an unwanted breakup. The best way is to show your self-respect to him, which is sure to increase your appeal. In any case, if the man does not call you regularly, it is best not to waste your life on such men and move on.
Julissa de Mayo is the webmaster and primary writer for the Soulmate Blog. The Blog is an open website to read and discuss relationship issues with knowledgeable people and others who may have lived through s similar problem. The Soulmate Blog is free and open twenty-four hours a day seven days a week for your access.