Flirting 101: How to Flirt Successfully Flirting is like testing the water of a clear pond that just looks good enough to jump in.

Flirting 101: How to Flirt Successfully Flirting is like testing the water of a clear pond that just looks good enough to jump in.

But flirting is an art as much as it is a game, and learning to flirt well can land you in the arms of the lady you’ve only been gazing at from afar.

Be Natural

Picking up women is a precariously fragile game as is, and coming on the wrong way can do more damage than good, so be natural.

You want to make your motives clear from the beginning; misleading a woman will get you nowhere in the end. Men commonly think a woman is only wooed effectively by feigning interest in her work, personality, friends, stories, etc. Be honest: If you want to take a woman home because you think she’s beautiful, tell her. If you want to take her out next week because she thrills you, be explicit. From the woman’s side, it’s easy to misinterprete cues from men invading their conversation space, so communicate and be a natural flirt.

Read People
Flirting is a great way to connect with people, express sincere interest, have fun, and throw in some flattery along the way. But the women you are flirting with aren’t reciprocating, take the cue and find someone else. On a similar note, if you’re not having fun with you’re flirting techniques, it defeats the purpose of flirting entirely.
Becoming a good flirt involves learning how to communicate precisely what you want. It’s possible to flirt in a way that signals you would like the woman’s company, but not sex. Until you get this effective with subtle cues, you will probably have more luck communicating these things explicitly and verbally.

Be Sincere
Women can spot insincerity a mile away. The world is littered with it. And men trying to lure women are even more full of it. So be very honest with a woman regarding what you like about her.

Believe in Yourself
Flirting well and naturally comes very much from a stable belief in one’s own self-worth. So, if you are lacking in this department, work on building up your own self-confidence a bit. Conviction in oneself has a natural magnetism that will do more for you than all the pick-up lines in the world.

Flirt with Everyone
Flirting with a woman and her friends, if you do it right, can show that you love to engage people generally (as long as you are not coming on terribly strong).

Flirting is very much about listening and responding thoughtfully; if you can do this with a woman’s friends, you eliminate the risk of accidentally invading a woman’s space, cutting her off from the people she wants to be around, and misleading her into assuming you may have alterior motives. Plus, if you like her enough, her friends are likely to be just as fun and interesting to engage in conversation or dancing.

Bennie Holt

Bennie Holt